No, seriously. Fuck you, fuck-ball.
If your duckets were part of the $300+ million dollars that inexplicably swung from the Green Bay Packer side to the Seattle Seahawk side yesterday night; you have just one more reason to despise old rich (pasty white) guys. You want to know why you lost money last night?
The simple answer is because the owners are arguing with refs over roughly $3 million dollars.
The truthier answer is that the owners are setting the table for future union negotiations by driving a hard bargain.
The truthiest answer is that the owners are rich fucking assholes that look at the nine-something billion dollar NFL pie and begrudge every dollar that doesn’t end up in their pocket.
So if you look at this lockout as strictly a money thing (as owners do) the disputed money is 1% of estimated money swing on that discarded afterbirth of a touchdown call yesterday.
It’s a little over one-seventh of Roger Goodell’s reported salary this year.
The following list of players make $3 million dollars per year. If they are currently starting on your squad you’ve probably stopped coaching already.
-Seneca Wallace
-Greg Olsen
-Greg Jones (I’ll give any reader a $1 who can name the position he plays without using Teh Internetz. I’ll give $2 if you can name the team.)
-Dustin Keller
-Mike Williams (Not that Mike Williams. This one.)
-Ahmad Bradshaw
-David Akers (a goddamned kicker!)
-Chad Ochocinco (before he was cut)
Or here’s another way to look at it. $3 million represents .03% of the NFL’s yearly revenue. It’s a pittance. I read somewhere that the NFL actually made $4 million last year of player fines alone. But of course I can’t find the website now and that just makes it look like I made it up but what are you gonna do? Google it and prove me wrong?
You are?
I know I read it somewhere. Probably behind the NYT pay wall so you won’t be able to read it but trust me it says exactly what I need it to say to support my point.
Ultimately, the NFL doesn’t have to negotiate. The NFL is a distant first when it comes to American sports. Though we scream mightily (and post Roger Goodell’s office number on Twitter) we’ll still watch, replacement refs or no. Does it hurt the brand? Maybe. Temporarily at best.
I’ll believe that the ref lockout is hurting the NFL when I see friend’s fantasy teams dumped from frustration with the poorly officiated games. As opposed to dumping your team because a certain former stud running back who was supposed to have a renaissance season is sucking goat dong and balls*. Or a downturn in ticket sales. Or networks asking for money back because games are eating into other time slots (the games are roughly 15 minutes longer this year than last as refs–like stoners playing Trivial Pursuit–take a really long time to get the wrong answer).
None of that has happened. None of it will happen. The owners know this. The refs can do nothing for them. As has been said many times, we don’t watch the games for the referees. Until the owners feel it in the pocketbook they hold all the cards. They don’t have to give an inch because there’s no repercussion. Why give up the equivalent of cushion change when you don’t have to?
It reminds me of a quote from the novelist Paul Eldridge (whom I had to Google):
A man’s character is most evident by how he treats those who are not in a position either to retaliate or reciprocate.
In this case, we can safely say the owners are a bunch of cunts, character-wise.
*You break my heart Chris Johnson. You really do.
/
Don’t feel too badly about Chris Johnson. I had him last year on my squad and he scored exactly 4 touchdowns on just over 1000 yards rushing. Although, you could always sprinkle a little self-doubt into your ff league drafting abilities if you’d like by questioning why you picked him up in the first place after seeing how lousily he played last year. To completely botch/ruin a Dennis Green quote: He isn’t who we thought he was.
He was who we thought he was for 2.5 seasons. Honestly I’d be thrilled if he put up last year’s numbers. But it’s not looking good. He actually would have scored me more points if the game was called because of lightning in the third quarter. From the start of the fourth to the end of overtime he rushed for negative 17 yards on three carries. That being said, I don’t think it’s completely his fault. His O-line is worse than anal sweat. It’s tough to run when you get hit in the backfield more than half the time.